http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/ en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:05:13 GMT vBulletin 5 http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/ http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/more-blonde-jokes-23237/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:03:43 GMT Two Blondes With Hammers... Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down ... Two Blondes With Hammers...

Carol and Donna, were doing some
carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down
house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss
it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out
of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Donna got completely upset and yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor.. 'You tried
to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear
before I pulled the trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde,so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked,'What are you doing?'
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said,
'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was..
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied...
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied.... .... ....'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
:D:D:D:D:D ]]> BigA1 http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/more-blonde-jokes-23237/ http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/bitc-end-23205/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:41:05 GMT The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.':D:D:D ]]> BigA1 http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/bitc-end-23205/ http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/truth-lol-23139/ Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:42:02 GMT This is funny.

Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Those of us who have spent time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!


Bubba Had Shingles.
Here's what happened to Bubba:

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
Bubba said: 'Shingles.'
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.'
So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.'
The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck.
Where do you want me to unload 'em??'


I'm still laughing!! ]]> scgirl http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/truth-lol-23139/ http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/rules-23115/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:30:26 GMT *THE RULES* 1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possibly know all THE... THE RULES

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any given time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5

18. If the female has P.M.S, all the rules may be nuil and void

19. The female is ready when she is ready, the male must be ready at all times. ]]> roo27 http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/rules-23115/ http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/mixed-up-funny-sayings-22858/ Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:10:51 GMT My friend told me a while back that he was gonna make a list of funny things that people had said to him. For instance someone once told him that... My friend told me a while back that he was gonna make a list of funny things that people had said to him. For instance someone once told him that after all he been through he was now gonna put the future behind him.:laugh: There was another one that tickled me the other night between my son and my daughter. Hes only 11 and my daughter is 19, anyway she was teasing him really bad and he turned around and said, you wouldn't like it if the hand was on the other foot.:laugh: What funny ones do you remember..? ]]> Mr_Slick http://www.onlinepoker66.com/forum/f30/mixed-up-funny-sayings-22858/