Free Credits

[ForestKing]

Come get your free credits here. 1,000 credit donations for funny jokes or stories. Maximum 5,000 credits per player.

[MRCOOL1]

okok.. theres this farmer, has 2 horses, a black horse and a white horse. he has a hard time telling them apart, so he cuts the mane off of one, and the tail off the other.

LOL!!! sorry.....

ps dont give me any credits...rofl

[firecutting]

Nice idea , I'm sure it will please many new people to the forums and get them started

[KingPete]

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any painkillers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed, "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"
The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth dear."

[12fleeceu]

a man is looking for a gift for his daughter, he go's to a toy shop and ask the assistant why all the Barbie dolls are $19.99 apart from Divorcee Barbie witch is $99.99. "Thats easy" replies the assistant "Divorcee Barbie come's with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat and Ken's beat mate.

[telboy]

i will repeat one i posted about 4 months ago
headline today a scarecrow has just won an award
a judge said he was outstanding in his field

[jockney]

Carlos calls his boss and says, "Ey, boss I not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I not come work."

The boss says:
"You know Carlos I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to make a luva to me. That makes me feel better and den I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Carlos calls back: "Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I be at work soon.

By da way Boss,you got nice house."

[jayccin]

who wears the biggest hat in the army............. the guy with the biggest head hahahaahha i got a million of em

[Matadoo]

This guy right... walks into a bar... and it HURT!!! :P lol

[ForestKing]

Ok first credits were donated, keep the jokes and/or stories coming.

[pofet]

Why does a dumb guy put a candy on the pillow
to have sweet dreams

[dav77]

just went for chinese nearly died when i seen a little pair of eyes looking out of the noodles turns out it was only the peeking duck

[Earp10]

joe is on a road trip in his new porsche convertible. he comes to a small town red light and pulls up to a really odd looking man on a moped. the man on the moped is wearing plaid shorts,no shirt and a pair of suspenders. man on moped leans over and starts rubbing his seats. is that real leather? and i bet its fast too! joe motions him away, light turns green and he's outta there. joe gets it up to about 90mph and notices someone catchin up to him . wooosh it was the guy in the moped that just passed him. joe tries to catch the moped and wooosh moped goes the other way. joe cant believe it so he pulls over and waits to see if the odd man will come back. he comesback and slams into the back of the porsche. joe runs to the back of his car " r u ok? man that was fast!" man moans and says i wouldnt be goin so fast if u would have let me get my suspenders off your rearview mirror

[jamie_u]

2 drum and a symbol fall down a hill!

*badum bom bish!*

lol :P

[LfcFan]

Have you had an accident?been injured at work,or in a public place?
Have you tripped over and hurt yourself?
.....................................
Serves you right you clumsy sod

[LfcFan]

GOOD NEWS
Call charges on your network have changed.
The uglier you are the cheaper your calls will be.
As from today your calls are free of charge.
I would have called to tell you but it would have cost me a fortune.

[LfcFan]

What are the three fastest forms of communication?
1.Tele-phone
2.Tele-vision
3.Tele-woman
You still want faster?
Then tell her not to tell anybody

[Gemini1]

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've Arrived!
I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

(P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

[perm1981]

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

[ForestKing]

Keep them coming, so far Jamie_u has got the best one.