For the Guys, but girls it's all in fun :)

[3XIT]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
THIS IS FOR ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT....ENJOY

[sa11y69]

Lmaoooooo....veryyyyyyy Good!!!!

[ForestKing]

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

I can picture that so well, met him once a while back.

[Down_River]

very funny, thanks for the laughs

[Ace_Queen]

yea very funny ........................ lmao too................

[lardyboy1]

NICE ONE

[ilovekerry]

gr8 lol simply brilliant

[pofet]

i liked it so much good 1

[JoeDaWeirdo12]

lol hilarious!!!

[biffoy]

pmsl lmao fuuuny!!!