Life's Persisting Questions

[roo27]

Life's Persisting Questions


1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS-OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE AN "S" IN IT"

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD "ASSTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

[ForestKing]

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

It took me forever to figure that one out.


29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE AN "S" IN IT"

Thank you, suffering from a minor lisp I still think it's messed up to have the S in there. But it is so much worse in spanish, a lisp is called a ceceo (pronounce se-seo). Now that is just cruel. Nice post Roo.

[ChineseIrish]

30. Doesn't our global warming crisis give the lie to that old phrase "there's nothing you can do about the weather"

[OP66fozzy]

Another one that comes to mind -

Why do men have nipples ?

[BigA1]

I liked the list very much. It was funny and thought provoking.

[notthemessaiah]

yes. see the film starring billy connoly. the man who sued god. it forced the insurance companies to rephrase the wording in their policies. what was previously referred to an act ofgod is now an act of nature.
youstill cant claim for it though. the slimey f#####s.

[griceyt]

lol good laff m8 thanks
though it made me loose roo ultra fast cuz i folded to many times lol

[BigBadBob]

Why do men have nipples?

[roo27]

Originally Posted by BigBadBob

Why do men have nipples?

i know this 1 when we are in the wome we all start of as girls and our sex is not detemend till the 2ed semaster so its a throw back from then

[godblessiraq]

did adam or eve have bellybuttons????

[hands11]

11 i think they go down the beach

[godblessiraq]

Life's Persisting Questions


1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS-OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE AN "S" IN IT"

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD "ASSTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?


ANSWERS.............GBI STYLE.............................................

1. I like to make sweet, pretty things sweat!!!!
2. Enough tequila.....I like to make not-so-sweet, not-so-pretty things sweat!!!!
3. Never heard an atheist say "no-such-thing-as-Goddamnit!!"
4. You consider man a step UP from monkeys?? I have yet to meet a monkey who invented a device that could destroy this whole world!! (nuclear bomb)
5. I'd be jolly too if I knew where sally lived.....(that girl)...LOL
6. I want to marry that sales woman!!!!!
7. Are you asking that Hypothetically??
8. No.......just 1 of his fingers.........
9. I don't think so.......either do I!!!!
10. Peradventure......but I do not cogitate thusly...........
11. They just desert........
12. Stand stand sill and do nothing.......would not want to endanger such a rare situation.....
13. As long as it doesn't tarnish his sages....
14. Depends on what you would call an atheist praying mantis...
15. To whom it may concern: My house and my car are always unlocked!!!
16. If a turtle has 2 shells.....is he rich or overdressed....
17. No, contains egg yolks.......My question is.....Do they make baseball gloves for vegitarians????
18. What would the mime say if he refused that right????
19. Question is.....If you are not blind, can you get a ticket for parking at a handicap atm???
20. Why don't they put "CAR X-ING" signs in the woods???
21. Women to slice it for you............
22. So shouldn't they be called "autoegotists??"
23. Do mermaids come from a combination of spermeggs? If so....what on earth do you call a male mermaid??? A "himbutler?"
24. Pretty sick to think about.....NOT EVEN I AM GOING NEAR THAT ONE!!!!
25. DUHHHHH!!!! With "PEACEKEEPING MISSILES!!!!!!!"
26. Confucius say......You gotta be REEEAAALLLYYY bad swimmer to drown in sink....

[godblessiraq]

27. Yes...if you are italian......
28. who cares..........you are a loser to begin with.....
29. Or the word stutter to have 3 t's???
30. Then would hemmoroids on an anemic person be called everlassteroids??
31. And what does cottage cheese do when it goes bad?
32. men are not oriental......rugs are oriental!!!!
33. I find it coincidental that this question is the 33rd to a degree. What do you know about freemasonary????