some jokes!!!

[unclepony11]

A blonde was having trouble selling her old car because it had 250,000 miles on the clock. One day her brunette pal told her that she could help her but it was illegal what she was gonna do. The blonde agrees to it anyway and the brunette proceeds to turn the speedo back to 50,000 miles and tells the blonde it sholud be easy to sell now. The following weekend the blonde met up with her friend who asked her if she had sold the car. The blonde replied "why should i? it only has 50,000 mile on the clock"!!!

9 blonde inventions

1: The water-proof towel
2: Solar powered torch
3: A book on how to read
4: Inflatable dart board
5: A dictionary index
6: Ejector seat in a helicopter
7: Powdered water
8: Pedal powered wheelchair
9: Water-proof tea bag

A teenager goes into a chemist to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks if he wants a 3 pack, a 6 pack or a 12 pack? The teen replies "well, i have been seeing this girl for a few weeks now and she is gagging for it. We are having dinner with her house tonight then going out after that so i'm definately gonna get lucky, give me the 12 pack cos we'll be at it all night"
That evening before dinner he surprises everyone by offering to say Grace. He begins the prayer which lasts for several minutes. His girlfriend leans over and says "you never told me you were religious" He leans over and replies "ypu never told me your father was a pharmacist"!!!

Husband says to his wife "Darling im going to the pub get your coat on" The wife looking very excited replies " OH dear for once you are going to take me with you?" "Dont be daft" answers the husband "i'm turning the heating off"!!!

How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung???
You cant get your finger between the rope and his neck!!!

After years of hard work, Angie took her first holiday on a luxury cruise ship. While sitting in a deck chair, she recognised an old school friend. "Hello Angie, I havent seen you in years. What are you doing these days?"
"I'm practicing law" she whispered "but dont tell my mum, she still thinks im a prostitute"!!!

(No offence meant to any1)

[69kindagal]

lol very funny xxx