a BAD beat...

[ASBO]

An archaeologist working in the israeli desert discovered a casket containing a mummy. He proudly announced: "I have just found a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure."
Tests on the mummy confirmed the archaeologists findings.
"How did you know he had died of heart failure?" asked a journalist.
"It was simple," said the archaeologist, "There was a piece of paper in his hand that said '10,000 shekels on Goliath'."

[tattmando]

lol thats what i call a bad beat lol

[hands11]

lmao that's a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD BEAT

[baz1980]

That is a bad beat

[quantam]

i apologise for hijacking this thread for my joke but i could not start one of my own......



The "Voice" of Poker:

There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says,

"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again.

"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day.

"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says,

"Go to the Horseshoe."

He goes to The Horseshoe. The voice says,

"Put all your money into a World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry."

He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP. He goes to his assigned tournament table. The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt Ace of Spadese of Clubs. The voice says,

"Go all in."

He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot. Three players call.

The dealer lays down the flop which is 8 of Hearts, 9 of Hearts, 10 of Hearts. The voice says,

"*UCK!."

[quantam]

A blonde woman…was on a girls’ weekend in Las Vegas. She stood in front of a candy machine, put in two quarters, turned the knob, and a candy bar fell out. She repeated the process, and again a candy bar fell out. Elated, she tried again as a man approached, saying, “Excuse me miss, what are you doing?”

She said, “Hello! I’m winning here!”

[quantam]

A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”

“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”

“How did you manage that, you fool?”

“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”

[quantam]

Top Five Reasons…you are delusional about poker:


1) You think you’re ready for the WSOP because you money in $5 SnGs all the time, dude!


2) You own a killer pair of sunglasses that would make Fossilman jealous.


3) You quote from Rounders whenever you can, especially if someone asks what your cards were. You always answer, “I’m sorry, John. I don’t remember.”


4) You own a minimum of twelve poker books. You’ve read at least two of them.


5) You wear your Party Poker hat and sunglasses to live $1/2 games.