Best Christmas Cake

[BIGSMUDGE]

The best Christmas cake recipe ever......My favourite recipe..... enjoy!



Christmas CakeIngredients:*



2 cups flour* 1 stick butter*

1 cup of water*

1 tsp baking soda*

1 cup of sugar* 1 tsp salt*

1 cup of brown sugar* Lemon juice*

4 large eggs* Nuts* 1 bottle wine* 2 cups of dried fruit



Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.



Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup ... Just in case.



Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity.



Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat. Bingle Jells! Great

[corkonianlynda]

Thanks BIGSMUDGE,,,,just on my way too the hospital.Done everything you said but when I tried to throw the bowl through the window it bounced back and hit me on the head.Think ill be ok but Iam seeing double and dont know if its cos of the bowl hitting my head or all that freaking wine you said too drink....

[Carmine555]

Now, you must know that I considered replying to this with "LOL...good one". But, since I am under such severe scrutiny these days, I am forced to add that I too tried this recipe, but when I dropped the bowl on my nuts, I nearly spilled the last cup of wine, and I knew that the bowl would not fit in the bottle, so I ate the sugar all by itself. And yes, I chased it down with the last cup of wine. Pure delight! Thank you for sharing your Family's Secret Recipe, BIGSMUDGE

[xx7xx]

I think it's a recipe to make when someone visits you that you reader not see a next time . thanks for sharing . greetz xx

[peacemaker66]

Sounds great to me big man, I'm with you right up until it gets technical.......flour, eggs......whiry beaterer thingy.

The wine bit I do all the time........didn't realise I was a cheif....chief......a cook!!!!


Have a great one
Peace

[Tarentino]

Great recipe, But i got too drunk to finish it off!