In Flight

[fabhastoplay]

After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and.... OH, Jesus Christ!'

Silence followed!

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking
to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in
my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

One Irish passenger yelled, 'bejezus you should see the back of mine!'

[whitewo1f]

lmao

One day, a priest a computer expert and a young boy were flying on a plane when the Pilot emerged from the cockpit and said, "I have some bad news, I've lost the hydraulics and can no longer control the plane, so we're gonna crash." He continued, "it gets worse, we only have three parachutes and I need to use one so I can explain to the FAA why the plane crashed. That only leaves two, so you'll have to decide who goes down with the plane." With that he opens the door and jumps. The Computer expert spoke up first and said, I need to take one of the chutes, I'm a very smart person, a genius in fact, and people all over the country rely on me to keep their computers and networks running," With that, he picks up a pack and jumps. The Priest starts crying and says to the young boy, "I don't want to die, but I've lived a long life and yours is just beginning. Take the last chute and save yourself my son." The young boy says to the Priest, "don't cry Father, everythings okay, look there's two chutes, we're saved," The Priest shouts, "Oh my, it must be a miracle!" The young boy says to the Priest, "not really Father, Mister Smartypants Genuis grabbed my backpack and jumped."

[ASBO]

very funny. lol