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KingPete's daily jokes A subforum only for jokes ( all members can post ). If your jokes could hurt anyone please post those in the "kid free" subforum : Ask the password to KingPete or a super moderator

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  #1  
Old 06-29-2010
patience08's Avatar
Simply The Best
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: SCOTLAND U.K
Posts: 675
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Default Get The Dishes Done !!!!!!!


Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day; he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house,
Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom.

'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....
‘I'll do the f****** dishes’!!!
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Marriage is like a pack of cards, in the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond, 10 years later you'll want a club and a spade.


Appeal for missing girl Madeleine McCann



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  #2  
Old 06-30-2010
Shrooms's Avatar
Royal Shrooms
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 773
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hun
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BOOM BOOM SHAKE THE SHROOOM





THOSE AFRAID TO FALL WILL NEVER FLY!!

HANDLE EVERY SITUATION LIKE A DOG...PEE ON IT AND WALK AWAY!!
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