have a giggle

[theguvnor]

An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy have been found behind the Job Centre in Liverpool .
The locals are said to be in a state of shock........They had no idea they had a job centre

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The missus asked if she pleased me in bed?
I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked?
"The one where you shut up and go to sleep!"

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Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya .
They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand, and one full of cement..it was a mortar attack.

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Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship... she replied "wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off!"

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Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Best Bitter. Barman asks, "What's wrong with the Bitter?" Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of it last night and when I came round I was f-
--king skint."
Barman says, " 12 pints of anything in here costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint is my dog."