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KingPete's daily jokes A subforum only for jokes ( all members can post ). If your jokes could hurt anyone please post those in the "kid free" subforum : Ask the password to KingPete or a super moderator

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  #1  
Old 06-25-2009
hands11's Avatar
Poker Emperor
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: kent uk
Posts: 1,004
Credits: 1,141,928
Default The Male Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here's a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her father (-20)

Social Engagements

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A Night Out with The Boys

Go out with a pal (-5)
And the pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Lotus (-10)
With a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)

A Night Out

You take her to a [COLOR=#111166 ! important][COLOR=#111166 ! important]movie[/COLOR][/COLOR] (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too" (-800)

The Big Question

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Communication

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep (-20)
__________________
Warning



My chips or else

BRING I ON BUT WATCH OUT

PLZ BE KIND AN ACCEPTED MY BLUFF AS I WILL AN DO WITH EVERY ONE ELSE THX

http://www.onlinepoker66.com/rpg/bluff.php?id=8522
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  #2  
Old 06-28-2009
3XIT's Avatar
Of The Soul
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 130
Credits: 5,925
Hands...that was brilliant don't know why no one else has commented....aha could be all those minuses lol
tc Lou x
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  #3  
Old 07-01-2009
future2112's Avatar
Poker Emperor
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: in the year 2112
Posts: 872
Credits: 1,318,058
hehe, very good m8 . some very true points in there too.
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  #4  
Old 07-03-2009
roo27's Avatar
Your run of the mill Drunk
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,439
Credits: 222,792,508
i got 13 is that any good lol
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