More really dumb jokes

[whitewo1f]

After his divorce Frank realized that poker wasn't the only thing that starts out with holding hands and ends with a huge financial loss.

How do you get 500 cows in a barn? Put up a Bingo sign out front.

Best new pick-up line; "excuse me, does this rag smell like cloroform?"

A friend of our joined a Nudist colony lasr week. He said the first day was the hardest.

Did you hear about the Flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for another year.

A truckload of Viagra was hijacked the other day. Police described the suspects as hardened criminals.

What's the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

What's more romantic than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.

Have you heard about the new paint called Blonde? It's not very bright, but it spreads real easy.

Have you heard about the new breakfast cereals? One is called Prostitutties, they don't snap, crackle or pop, they just lay there and bang away. Then there's Queerios, they don't even sell it, they just eat each other.

Arriving home, a man tells his wife, "I just won the lottery, pack your bags." His wife says, "wonderful, should I pack for the mountains our the shore? Her husband replies, "I don't give a damn, just get the hell out."

The definition of Divorce; the screwing you get from the screwing you got.

Best pick-up line in a gay bar; "mind if I push in your stool?"

How to tell your in a gay bar. All the stools are upside down.

Two potatoes are standing on a street corner, how do you tell which one's the prostitute? It's the one with the sticker that says Idaho.

Standing nude, gazing into her bedroom mirror a woman says to her husband, "I'm feeling fat and ugly, tell me something to make me feel better." Her husband replies, "well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

One day Frank's wife confronts him and tells him, "you worthless sod, you forgot our 25th wedding anniversary, you can only make it up to me if I see something in our driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds." The next day his wife looks out on the driveway and sees a big box with a ribbon tied around it. She rushes to the driveway and tears open the box, only to find a bathroom weight scale. Frank hasn't been heard from since.

[betheroni]

"excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform?"
i love it. greatest line ever. does it work?