Really dumb jokes

[whitewo1f]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front step? Matt.
Hanging on a wall? Art.
In a swimming pool? Bob.
In a hole? Phil.

What do you call a woman with one leg? Ilene.
A Japanese woman with one leg? Irene.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he wouldn't come anyway.
What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a drag.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
A cow with only two legs? Lean beef.

The other day three blondes walked into a building. You would have thought one of them would have seen it coming.
Why can't blondes get drivers licenses? Because when the car stops, they get in the back seat.
What do you get if you ask a blonde, penny for your thoughts? Change back.

Doctor jokes:
Doctor to Patient, "have you ever had this before?"
Patient, "yes Doctor."
Doctor to Patient, "well you got it again.
------------------------------------------
Doctor to Patient, "does it hurt when you do that?"
Patient, "yes Doctor."
Doctor to Patient, "well then don't do that."
------------------------------------------
The Doctor enters an exam romm to check on a Patient. He yells at the nurse, "no Nurse, I told you to prick his finger!"
-------------------------------------------
How do you tell who's the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees.
-------------------------------------------
Doctor to Patient, "I have some bad news and some worse news, what do you want first?"
Patient, "give me the bad news first."
Doctor, "you have an incurable disease and only twenty four hours left to live."
Patient, "that's the bad news! what could be worse then that?"
Doctor, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

A little girl enters a Pet store and says to the salesclerk, "excuth me, I would wike to by a widdow wabbit."
Amused the salesclerk asks, "would you wike a widdow bwack one or a widdow white one?" The little girl says, I don't care, I don't think my Python givth a thit."

Two cows are grazing in a field one day, when the one says to the other, "what do you think about all this talk of mad cow disease?" The other one says, "what do I care, I'm a helicopter."

[MRCOOL1]

Originally Posted by whitewo1f

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front step? Matt.
Hanging on a wall? Art.
In a swimming pool? Bob.
In a hole? Phil.

what do you call the arms and legs of that guy hangin on the wall? ~
.
.
.
.
.
pieces of Art.

what do you call the guy with no arms and no legs at the BOTTOM of the pool? ~
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Dwayne



luvvem all whitewolf just had to add a couple

[Pocket_Ducks]

Theyr quite good, like the "prick his finger" one i got one:

what do you call a duck with no brain???

QUACKERS!

kwak

[jim1961]

very good.

What do you call a man with a rabbit stuck up his b*m. Warren.

Standing in a hole : Phil

Lying beside the hole : Doug

Quackers walked into the shop to buy some lipstick.
salesperson : Will that be cash or charge ?
Quackers : just put it on my bill.

[jim1961]

what do you call a man with a car on his head ?

Jack.

[MRCOOL1]

Originally Posted by jim1961

what do you call a man with a car on his head ?

Jack.

in all my years i aint heard that one yet... luv it

[BBOB]

An 80 year old woman goes to the doctor. She says "Doc im old and sick im tired of living and was wandering how to go about killing myself. The doctor replied "Get your self a gun and point it 3 inches below your left nipple pull the trigger and that should do it" She went home and blew of her left knee cap!! lol hehehehe