the tourist

[ASBO]

Late one evening, after closing time, an exhausted tourist knocks on the door of an isolated, countryside pub, the George and Dragon.
The landlady sticks her head out of the window. "Excuse me, I'm lost and hungry, could you spare me a little food?" the tourist asks.
The woman glances at his dirty clothes and shouts back, "No!" "Could I at least use your loo?" the tourist pleads. "No!" the landlady shouts again.
"Then," the tourist says, "might I please..." "What now?" barks the woman.
"Do you suppose," he asks, "I might have a word with George?"

[whitewo1f]

Another good one Asbo =)

One day in an airport, a guy comes walking up to his friend with a big red handprint across his cheek. His friend asks, "what in the world happened to you?" The guy explains, "I just pulled the worst Freudian slip. I was at the ticket counter and the Agent was a beautiful, well endowed busty young woman and I meant to ask her for two tickets to Pittsburgh and what I really said was I'd like two pickets to titsburgh." His friend says, "I know how you feel, this morning at breakfast, I meant to ask my wife to pass the milk and what I really said was, you BITCH! you ruined my life!'